Decisions

From what you put on in the morning to supersized fries or not, each day is filled with thousands of decisions. However minimal they may seem, those decisions work together in concert to shape the future. Think about it -- choosing Q'Doba over Subway may lead to a gassy afternoon in which your friends may not want to be around you. Who says those small decisions don't impact anything?

But the Q'Doba v. Subway debate is not the most pressing today. Today's ultimate decision is Family and I pray that the right decisions are made.

You see, I know two couples right now who are in the battle of their lives to keep their children.

In one case, a three-year-old boy who has only known one Mommy, but two Daddies is in limbo on whether or not the Ohio Supreme Court will allow him to stay with the Family he has known since birth, or be uprooted to live with a biological father with a criminal background who never made a court date three years ago when this ordeal began.

In the other case, six-day-old "E" has been happily eating, sleeping and pooping with my dear friend "B" since his birthmother "R" decided that an adoptive Family would be best for him. B nurses E, and his big brother hugs him and protects him and E is the sparkle in his dad, "D"'s eye.

But yesterday R made the decision that adoption was not best for E. She wants E back.

Now, I'm not a mother. I can't imagine what is going on in R's mind. She probably saw that beautiful bundle and had second thoughts. All the texts and calls to and from B, hearing E cooing in the background probably weighed heavily on her mind. She probably touches her belly and notices the void and it is likely very difficult for her.

But, what about E's other mommy? What about B? What about the weeks that she spent taking medicines and herbs to be able to produce the milk that nourishes E. What about the days she spent on the phone with R assuring her that she could birth this baby. What about the invitation to the ultrasound when B and D found out they were having another son? What about the birth when B was there to see E enter this world and kiss his perfect little cheeks and hold him tight and nurse him for the first time?

B blogged about the fear of this happening days before E was born. She said she wasn't going to get attached until she knew E was hers. She wasn't going to allow herself to love him until R allowed her to take him home. And that is what she did. B and D named E, took him home and began to love him. They began to parent.

But now, R wants to do that. She wants to parent. Even the social worker thinks that R isn't ready to be a parent. The solution? Take E to a foster home. Bounce him from birthmom, to adoptive Family, to foster Family to birthmom. All before he is how old?

I'm at a loss. I think you know where I stand, and it's not because I think that R or even E's biological dad shouldn't have rights. It's not because I think that in the case of the Vaughn's that Grayson's biological dad shouldn't have rights. I don't think that these people are horrible. They were faced with a decision. And they made it. That's where I am ...

What I am concerned about are these children who are too young to make decisions. It is up to the parents -- the adults in their life to decide what they wear, breastmilk or formula, birthfamily or adoptive.

My Dad always told me when you make a decision you stick with it. For the sake of these babies, I pray that R makes the right decision for baby E. I pray that his future, based from this decision, is bright.

Now. Time for Subway.